5 Reasons The Ex Is Your Ideal Dating Coach

A couple years after my divorce, I was leaving a restaurant and ran into an old friend who had also found himself single following years of marriage. After a few minutes of awkward chatter, he suggested we have lunch the following week. My excitement was tempered by his suggesting lunch rather than dinner. Hmmm, date or friends?

The following day, in desperate need of a male point-of-view, I turned to a most unlikely dating coach: my ex-husband. It was the first time I sought his advice on such dicey matters. We obviously knew the other was dating but rarely discussed our post-divorce love lives. "Just send an email back saying you can have lunch or dinner next Tuesday," he advised me matter-of-factly, before confidently adding, "If he chooses dinner, you'll know instantly what his intentions are."

After following directions, I found myself at dinner a week later, the start of a relationship that continued for several months.

Just to be clear, my ex and I didn't divorce and start giving one another dating advice the very next day; it took a long time for everything to cool off.

I know confiding in ones ex sounds insane since many former couples can't even stand to be in the same room. But if you remain on good terms, your former partner could probably match you up better than anyone else. After all, few people are more familiar with your personal foibles, desires and needs -- the good, the bad and the ugly -- than the person who's shared your life for many years.

My ex knows my propensity for always running a bit late, for being attracted to a strange, hybrid guy who is half metro-sexual/half macho, is aware of my neurotic spiral over the slightest cold and is quite clued in to the dirty fact that when I enter a perfectly clean room there are shoes, papers and makeup scattered all over the floor by the time I leave.

He's been helpful in separating the wheat from the chaff, guiding me away from those suitors who are either too metro or macho; too neurotic for my neuroses; or the sort of neat freaks who are never much fun.

Although a bit odd, there are a number of reasons the ex can be an ideal dating coach. So hear me out - and think about possibilities- even if they seem improbable now.

1. You have history: The past you share with your ex gives him or her valuable insights on the character traits that will truly make you happy.

2. Do it for the kids: They want their children to be happy and around someone who is a good role model.

3. They know your type: You're probably a great judge of the type of person your ex is attracted to. Maybe you watched, with much irritation, as he or she ogled certain types when you were out, or heard them say that a particular actor or actress was hot. Your ex knows if you prefer brains over brawn and what kind of person most floats your boat after the initial ardor wears off.

4. The best Wingman: When I ended up having the rare dinner with my former husband and the man I was dating, my ex became the best wingman ever! At one point he started talking me up in such a flattering light that it took me a few minutes to realize whom he was talking about. (For a minute, I thought there was still a potential alimony award on the table and that he was trying to marry me off.)

5. Blowing off steam: They also know what annoys you (and what's annoying about you!). Maybe they can even help disrupt some relationship patterns they've seen before.

Just to clarify: my ex isn't my therapist and is quite busy with his own life. I wouldn't expect that from him, nor would he have the slightest amount of patience to sit and listen.

Now happily married, he no longer needs my dating advice. But when he became serious with the woman he eventually married, we planned out the best way to introduce her to our son. When they had their first child we discussed how to tell our son in an effort to avoid the initial sibling rivalry.

Although we are no longer married, I still want what's best for him. And I know he wants what's best for me. That's when divorce works out best: when you lose a partner there's no reason you have to lose a friend.

Thanks to the Huff Post for this!

Now go find your date on http://www.datingforsingleparentsusa.com

Russian Client Offers British Nanny An Annual Salary Of $200,000!

By Robert Frank of the Wall Street Journal

If you think Linda Evangelista is over-paying for child care in New York, imagine what she would be paying in London.

According to an article in The Times of London by Fiona Neill, the mega-rich Russians, Sheikhs and Chinese pouring into London in recent years have jacked up the cost of a British nanny. A British staffing agency called Imperial Nannies cited a Russian client who wanted to poach a nanny from another family. Their salary offer: $200,000 a year.

Then there was the Imperial Nanny client with three kids who employed a nanny for each child — at around $130,000 a year.

These aren’t the norm, of course. More typical in Britain are salaries of $75,000 a year – with free room and board. Usually that means a “a flat that is self-contained or on a separate floor, or at least a room with en-suite bathroom — in a desirable Central London borough, and almost always includes a car,” according to the article.

Some British nannies specify that they only fly business class — though many have use of the family planes. One nanny was given a new wardrobe by her Italian employer, while another was given a house by her Saudi patrons.

According to Imperial, the financial crisis hasn’t hurt demand for top nannies, because they super-rich haven’t been effected by the crisis. (Which is what staffing agencies always say, true or not). The big demand is for teachers-turned-nannies, who can help the kids with increasingly demanding school work.

Yet according to a British “manny” named “Nick,”all that costly coddling can be better for the nannies than the rich kids. The wealthy parents, he said, give too little time and attention to their kids.

Comments?!!

5 Reasons It's Better To Be A Single Parent

Although the gold standard in child rearing has traditionally been a dual family unit, being a single parent has a myriad of benefits. Rather than navigating the treacherous territory of constant parental compromise, you can independently make choices for your children that you feel is best. Eleven years ago, when my former husband and I split, I saw my divorce as a glorious opportunity to parent solo. No more discussing the finer points of gymnastics vs. volleyball. I didn't have to debate dessert after dinner vs. never ever letting sugar touch lips. And there was no longer a lengthy discussion over the reason my daughters needed braces.

While the state of rock-steady marital bliss in this country continues to falter, more and more adults are joining the ranks of contented uncoupled family units. In fact, based on the latest Census Bureau statistics, there are over 14 million single parent households with children under the age of 18. That is a lot of people and a good reason to celebrate. Which is why, March 21 has been designated as National Single Parent's Day. A time to honor all those tenacious individuals who do what they do, day in and day out, to support, nurture and care for their kids.

As a single mom advisor and author of It Takes All 5, I would like to honor the day and offer you five solid reasons why it's better to be a single mom or dad then half of a parenting pair.

Read the rest of the article HERE!

Don't Forget About YOU!

Sometimes as a single parent, you have so many things to think about that you can easily forget about YOU! Remember that you have feelings and needs too, and these need taking care of just as much as your children's!

http://www.datingforsingleparentsusa.com

Inspirational Quotes for Single Working Moms

As Golda Meir said, "At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you've left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent."

Don't swim against the current. Just know that you are doing what you have to do, and you're doing it as well as you are able. You're not Superwoman and no one expects you to be.

Single working moms are teaching their kids a solid work ethic; you're teaching them that we don't just have things handed to us, and have to work for the things we want. If they are properly cared for while you're out earning the money you need to get by, why should you feel guilty? James Baldwin is famously quoted as saying, "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."Make the most of the time you do get to spend with them, and know that while you're working, you're taking care of their physical needs AND teaching them an important life lesson.

And finally... "Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life." - Anonymous

http://www.datingforsingleparentsusa.com