Top 5 Ways to Get Back Into Dating After a Breakup

Going through a breakup sucks. A lot. And yes, the first thing you probably want to do is curl up into a ball, watch reruns of Friends, and have Seamless send you dinners while Taskrabbit picks up new boxes of Kleenex... But after the mandatory mourning comes to a close, the only way to truly move on is to meet new people (gasp!).

Some go into a shy, hesitation-filled shock. After all, you haven't dated in months, years(maybe even a decade!! double gasp!!). Others think they "still got it" and boldly hit on anything that moves only to strike out.

It's a pretty dismal scene... so Alex (founder of Sparkology, the invite-only dating site for young professionals) and Bella (founder of NeverLikedItAnyway, the place to sell once-loved gifts from once-loved lovers) have assembled the five ways to go back from break-up to romance:

Rule 1: Find New Scenery (Alex)

Generally speaking, relationships are synonymous with routine. This is your time to bust out. Go to new places, museums, bookstores, coffee shops while also reconnecting with single friends (who probably haven't seen you in months).

Rule 2: Don't Date Someone Who Resembles Your Ex (Bella)

You may have a type... but trying to fill the void with a replica of your past lover will only remind you of old times. You'll do your head in constantly comparing the new guy to the old and most importantly, you won't give the new guy a the chance he deserves. Not sure where to find your new man? Try Sparkology.

Rule 3: Invest in Yourself (Alex)

For better or worse, people in relationships often let themselves slack. From gaining a few pounds to neglecting your dance lessons to letting the wardrobe fade, you've probably neglected some part of your personal development simply because a large part of your focus (and resources!) were spent on the relationship. Now is your time to reinvest in yourself. Take a pizza making class, attend a wine tasting, or go on a weekend yoga retreat... these fun activities both lift your spirits and make you more interesting when meeting new people.

Rule 4: Get Excited About the Date, Not The Guy (Bella)

This sounds a trifle mean, but if you can't seem to get excited about the new fish you've plucked from the sea, get excited about the places you'll go! Most likely, a lot has changed since you last dated. All sorts of things have opened up - theatres, restaurants,bars and even bike lanes. Try seeing your date as a ticket to discovery. In the immortal words of Dr Seuss, 'oh the places you'll go... you'll be on your way up"!

Rule 5: Ex-orcise Your Home (Bella)

Cleaning out is cathartic, even when you havent had a breakup! Removing any ex-iconography from your home is the first step to moving on. I know you want to keep little mementoes, but these will subconsciously hold you back. Get a friend round to come over and help you sort through the photos, sweatshirts, artwork, toothbrushes (ew), jewelry and any other ex-collateral in sight. Either throw it out or, even better, sell it on NeverLikedItAnyway. Also, try rearranging your furniture, move your bed, rotate your couch... do anything to change your scenery!

Follow Alex Furmansky on Twitter: www.twitter.com/thefurm

Or Dating For Single Parents USA: www.twitter.com/parentsdatingus

5 Reasons The Ex Is Your Ideal Dating Coach

A couple years after my divorce, I was leaving a restaurant and ran into an old friend who had also found himself single following years of marriage. After a few minutes of awkward chatter, he suggested we have lunch the following week. My excitement was tempered by his suggesting lunch rather than dinner. Hmmm, date or friends?

The following day, in desperate need of a male point-of-view, I turned to a most unlikely dating coach: my ex-husband. It was the first time I sought his advice on such dicey matters. We obviously knew the other was dating but rarely discussed our post-divorce love lives. "Just send an email back saying you can have lunch or dinner next Tuesday," he advised me matter-of-factly, before confidently adding, "If he chooses dinner, you'll know instantly what his intentions are."

After following directions, I found myself at dinner a week later, the start of a relationship that continued for several months.

Just to be clear, my ex and I didn't divorce and start giving one another dating advice the very next day; it took a long time for everything to cool off.

I know confiding in ones ex sounds insane since many former couples can't even stand to be in the same room. But if you remain on good terms, your former partner could probably match you up better than anyone else. After all, few people are more familiar with your personal foibles, desires and needs -- the good, the bad and the ugly -- than the person who's shared your life for many years.

My ex knows my propensity for always running a bit late, for being attracted to a strange, hybrid guy who is half metro-sexual/half macho, is aware of my neurotic spiral over the slightest cold and is quite clued in to the dirty fact that when I enter a perfectly clean room there are shoes, papers and makeup scattered all over the floor by the time I leave.

He's been helpful in separating the wheat from the chaff, guiding me away from those suitors who are either too metro or macho; too neurotic for my neuroses; or the sort of neat freaks who are never much fun.

Although a bit odd, there are a number of reasons the ex can be an ideal dating coach. So hear me out - and think about possibilities- even if they seem improbable now.

1. You have history: The past you share with your ex gives him or her valuable insights on the character traits that will truly make you happy.

2. Do it for the kids: They want their children to be happy and around someone who is a good role model.

3. They know your type: You're probably a great judge of the type of person your ex is attracted to. Maybe you watched, with much irritation, as he or she ogled certain types when you were out, or heard them say that a particular actor or actress was hot. Your ex knows if you prefer brains over brawn and what kind of person most floats your boat after the initial ardor wears off.

4. The best Wingman: When I ended up having the rare dinner with my former husband and the man I was dating, my ex became the best wingman ever! At one point he started talking me up in such a flattering light that it took me a few minutes to realize whom he was talking about. (For a minute, I thought there was still a potential alimony award on the table and that he was trying to marry me off.)

5. Blowing off steam: They also know what annoys you (and what's annoying about you!). Maybe they can even help disrupt some relationship patterns they've seen before.

Just to clarify: my ex isn't my therapist and is quite busy with his own life. I wouldn't expect that from him, nor would he have the slightest amount of patience to sit and listen.

Now happily married, he no longer needs my dating advice. But when he became serious with the woman he eventually married, we planned out the best way to introduce her to our son. When they had their first child we discussed how to tell our son in an effort to avoid the initial sibling rivalry.

Although we are no longer married, I still want what's best for him. And I know he wants what's best for me. That's when divorce works out best: when you lose a partner there's no reason you have to lose a friend.

Thanks to the Huff Post for this!

Now go find your date on http://www.datingforsingleparentsusa.com

Three Really Important Tips When Starting Online Dating

1) Follow important online dating safety tips.

From the time you sign up for a service through the time you meet on a date, it's important to be safe. Read Online Dating Magazine's Online Dating Safety Tips article for specific things you should and shouldn't do. In a nutshell: never give out too much personal information; never give a home phone number; always meet in a public place for the first date; ask for a recent photo (or how old posted photos are); and trust your gut instinct. Read the article for more safety tips and full descriptions.

2) Build a winning profile.

Your profile is one of the two key elements that will determine if a person emails you on an online dating service (the other is photo - see next tip). Thus it's important to make sure that your profile is lively, fun, and positive. Avoid negatives (I'm lonely, I can't believe I'm doing this) at all costs. Examine other profiles and determine what about it makes you more interested or less interested. Read Online Dating Magazine's Profile Tips article for more advice. If a person finds your profile interesting and not generic then you have increased your chances of someone showing interest in you. Make yours interesting!

3) Post great recent photos.

Face it - when doing a search on an online dating service the first thing that grabs your attention is the photo. This is the single most important element to getting people to view that great profile you've written (see last tip). These days, generic photos won't cut it. You need to determine what colours look best on you, dress nice, be clean cut, and have someone take various photos of you that are fun and lively. When I changed my photo from a posed shot to a shot of me with an Orangutan, the number of people emailing me or showing an interest quadrupled. It also provided a great ice breaker and talking point when someone emailed me. Read Online Dating Magazine's Creating a Better Online Dating Photo article for some excellent tips.

Now go and get dating! http://www.datingforsingleparentsusa.com

Three Important Internet Dating Tips

1) Follow important online dating safety tips.

From the time you sign up for a service through the time you meet on a date, it's important to be safe. Read Online Dating Magazine's Online Dating Safety Tips article for specific things you should and shouldn't do. In a nutshell: never give out too much personal information; never give a home phone number; always meet in a public place for the first date; ask for a recent photo (or how old posted photos are); and trust your gut instinct. Read the article for more safety tips and full descriptions.

2) Build a winning profile.

Your profile is one of the two key elements that will determine if a person emails you on an online dating service (the other is photo - see next tip). Thus it's important to make sure that your profile is lively, fun, and positive. Avoid negatives (I'm lonely, I can't believe I'm doing this) at all costs. Examine other profiles and determine what about it makes you more interested or less interested. Read Online Dating Magazine's Profile Tips article for more advice. If a person finds your profile interesting and not generic then you have increased your chances of someone showing interest in you. Make yours interesting!

3) Post great recent photos.

Face it - when doing a search on an online dating service the first thing that grabs your attention is the photo. This is the single most important element to getting people to view that great profile you've written (see last tip). These days, generic photos won't cut it. You need to determine what colors look best on you, dress nice, be clean cut, and have someone take various photos of you that are fun and lively. When I changed my photo from a posed shot to a shot of me with an Orangutan, the number of people emailing me or showing an interest quadrupled. It also provided a great ice breaker and talking point when someone emailed me. Read Online Dating Magazine's Creating a Better Online Dating Photo article for some excellent tips.

Now go and get dating! http://www.datingforsingleparentsusa.com

Dating For Single Parents USA

Just in time for Valentines!

New dating site launches in the USA for single parents.

It's FREE to search and register, so why not do it NOW!

http://www.datingforsingleparentsusa.com

Advice for online dating!

Welcome!

Welcome to our brand new blog, where we'll be keeping you updated with all that's hot in single parent dating!